Some women fear the fire, some women simply become it.
I turned 25 this year. The last few hours of my early 20s were spent covered in my Disney sheets, in my cartoon-poster-filled room. I didn’t know how much I’ve been looking forward to this inbetween-age as I purposely wore a red blouse on my birthday. I turned 25 on the 20th of August, and when I blew my candles. But also..
I turned 25 when I heard the words “when can you start” 3hours after an online interview I prayed so hard for. At the same time, I turned 25 when I cried in front of my old boss because I never really wanted to leave the place that has grown so much in me but it felt like I needed to do some growing up of my own, too.
I turned 25 when more and more people of my age group are getting married and are having children purely by choice.
I turned 25 when I got a one-way ticket. When I fought off the tears hugging my parents as my one-way flight was announced and I was carrying 25kg worth of baggage (emotions excluded). I turned 25 when the plane landed in the city everyone warned me about. And eventually it felt like home somehow.
I turned 25 when I finally saw my name and works on print. And it’s funny how I needed to achieve such only to realize a byline is not what makes me a writer.
I turned 25 when I began to embrace what the stars. I am born under the fire sign. A Leo–the mightiest and proudest of all zodiacs; Also, if you google my name it also actually means “the ruler of all.” I can’t help but think as to how it might mean I’m destined for something great – like powerful, YAAAS KWEEEN kind of great. Although I may not embody it, I guess having those altogether should mean something.
I turned 25 knowing that living the dream is also about keeping the dream alive.
I turned 25 when I bought my first tube of lipstick. Just three days before I wrote this to be exact. Ant it felt like the most mature thing.
I turned 25 when I realized not everything that happens to me is not always about me. That some people hurt you because they are what they are, and that the universe plays simply because you are a part in it. And so I turned 25 when I told my heart to stop investing too much in things I could not control.
I turned 25 when I’ve been wearing more dresses than pants on a regular basis. But I will always be a closed-shoes kind of girl.
I turned 25 when I decided to speak up about my worth (career-wise) I turned 25 when I realized working on my passions isn’t the route for me (at least not yet) and so I gave up the comforts of writing in exchange for a work that’s more demanding, people-facing, and everything I’m barely qualified for–all because I wanted to challenge my self.
I turned 25 when I checked off more than a few things from my 13 year-old self’s bucket list. Or when I fulfilled the hopes of this post.
I turned 25 when I was more thankful for the things that didn’t go my way.
Turning 25 finally felt like I no longer need to explain my self, yet here I am writing a blog post about it. 25 is when I’m at peace with my age and my self, perfectly in the inbetween.
Turning 25 felt calm. The only thing I’m unsure of if it’s the kind of calm before the storm, or after. Or that maybe I’m the storm.